Dumb Guy

So I met dumb guy like 8 months ago. We met on Tinder. I know what you are thinking, “seriously Christi? Tinder? No wonder it didn’t work out”. Well just hear me out. Not EVERYONE on Tinder is looking to hook up….just most of them. He seemed legit. So we went out to dinner and it was great. He was cute, funny, a little shy, and could carry on a conversation all on his own!! (that’s a big deal…am I right girls?) It was going so well that he invited me to come over and watch a movie at his place after. We laughed and chatted and watched the movie; it was fun! (and NO, we did not hookup. I’m not a hookup kind of girl) So we kind of started dating. He worked a crazy schedule so he was mostly only available on his 2 days off a week. So the first, I don’t know, 2 or 3 weeks we hung out for a few hours on each of his days off. And can I just say that he was the one that kept making those plans with me? It wasn’t me asking to see him the next day all the time. So, all of a sudden he tells me that things are moving “too fast” for him and he wants to “slow down” and I was thinking “DUDE! You are the one that kept making the plans….YOU moved us too fast.” I mean, I was fine with the speed, but that’s because I like to see a guy I’m dating a few times a week. It’s not like it was every day.

So anyway, he kept texting me every day, pretty much all day long, but kept making excuses for why he couldn’t see me. This went on for a month. That’s right, A WHOLE MONTH. Everyday texting, but no visual contact of any kind. I’m sorry, but I HATE texting all day. I use texts to contact someone for something really quick, like “Hey Teri, we going running tomorrow?” or “What time were we going to meet for that movie?” or “Don’t forget to bring ice cream on Friday night!” (a night is not complete without ice cream, let’s be real) I don’t like when people text me to be like “hey! How are you??” Uuuuh, why don’t you pick up the stupid phone and call me? Sorry….I’m getting off track. So yeah, he texted me daily for a month, but never wanted to make official plans. To say the least I was getting annoyed. So I finally tried to end things with him. I mean, was there really anything to end? You’re not actually dating someone if you aren’t going on dates. But he didn’t want it to end, so he finally made plans with me. YEAH!

We were texting in the morning, one day, about what we were going to do that evening and we had decided to meet at my place for a movie. (hey guys….girls don’t want to just watch movies all the time. We like to be TAKEN OUT every once in a while) So I texted him around lunch time and just said, “hey, let me know what time you are coming over so that I’m ready”. The hours passed and no response. I’m talking hours…like 5 hours. I got home from work after 5 and still had no idea when he was coming. It was after 6 when I finally texted him again and still no response. After 7 I called him….I called him like 3 times over an hour. (mind you, this was his day off, so it’s not like he was stuck at work and couldn’t respond to me) so, like the crazy angry girl that I was…I went to his house to punch him in his face (this is me being sarcastic again…well mostly) and he either wasn’t home or didn’t answer because of this crazy B at his door. So, being the strong powerfully independent woman that I am, I blocked and deleted his number from my phone so that he couldn’t contact me and I couldn’t contact him….hey, I have weaknesses too! I was really frustrated for a while because I enjoy and need closure and I didn’t get it with him. I would really love a guy to just be completely honest and say “YOU’RE NOT THE ONE!!” or “I hate you you dirty whore!” than to just disappear and not know why they walked away. There are billions of people on this planet. I’m not going to be mad if someone breaks up with me because they have changed their mind or decided they don’t like me. The odds are against us anyway. There are just too many people in the world and too small of a percentage of people you could actually work with. It’s ok…just tell it to me straight!

Ok, back to me and dumb guy….I thought it was over. And I actually forgot all about him till last Monday when he started following me on Instagram! WHAAAAT?? How did he even find me? So he sent me a message and I couldn’t help but reply. Mostly I was just curious what he had to say for himself. (and let’s be honest...this is exactly why I blocked his number. He has blue eyes for days and is a really good kisser) He apologized for being dumb (so really he came up with his nickname) and asked if he could take me out. He said that he “had a lot of making up to do”. Well yeah, ya think? So I agreed to a date. He suggested Saturday and I said I was free until about 3, so we agreed upon lunch. He also said that if things go well on Saturday that maybe we could watch a movie on Sunday. I told him that we would just have to see. I didn’t really trust him yet and needed to just see how I felt. This was Tuesday. So he, again, texted me all week long. Everyday. I tried to be less responsive, so it wasn’t all day, but it was still a lot. So cut to Thursday night. I texted him asking if we can do lunch at like 1. This is how the conversation goes:

Me: So what time do you want to do lunch on Saturday. I was thinking like 1?
DG: I won’t actually be free until later
Me: I have plans at 4
DG: After?
Me: I thought we decided on lunch? My plans go all night.
DG: I have some plans at 2
Me: Ha then why did we decide on lunch?
DG: I guess my idea of lunch is later. Sorry

In his defense he works from like 1-10pm, so he eats lunch way later in the day than a normal person, BUT I had told him earlier in the week that I was free until 3pm and he agreed that lunch would work. SERIOUSLY? Why can’t guys ever plan anything? We are all adults. So adult it up! Invest in a calendar…oh wait, you have a phone with a calendar function….USE IT! I do not want to be in a relationship with someone who can’t seem to make simple plans for lunch with someone. Anyway, I ended up seeing him at like 9pm on Saturday (I know, romantic) and we chatted it up for a few hours at my place. He seemed to be the same, but also really sorry for being such a douche oh so many months ago. I probably shouldn’t have, but we did make out because it’s been awhile since I made out and I do still have feelings for him, plus didn’t I also already say that he was a good kisser?? (I know, this is probably all my fault)
Ok, I have to back track for a sec. I mentioned earlier that he had wanted to watch a movie on Sunday if things went well on Saturday. He had also mentioned it during this last week and even on Saturday night, but in grand dumb guy style, he didn’t give me a time. So I woke up this morning (Sunday), went to church, came home and made lunch. I then started planning my meals for this week and netflixing to my hearts content. Dinner time came and I decided to grill up some burgers (whole30 for the win) and still did not hear from him. So I texted him around 5:30….

Me: Hey, did you still want to watch a movie today? Just wanted to check since we didn’t make any definite plans.
DG: Was just thinking of you. I am at dinner with my family currently.

That’s it. Did you notice that he didn’t even answer my question? So here we are at 10:15pm and he still has not texted me about this so called movie. I am so done. I am a HUGE planner and I understand that not everyone is that way. I have to chill out sometimes and reign that in knowing that I can’t force people to be like me, BUT at the same time, if someone is NOT a planner at all, they need to also compromise and meet me in the middle somewhere. They can’t expect me to just forgo all of my plannerness (yes that’s a word!) and be like them. They need to meet me half way. So I just texted him and ended things. I finally got the closure that I wanted. Yeah for me!! Now I can move on knowing that he really is a dumb guy. Glad I gave him another chance to prove that.

Night ya’ll. Until the next bad date….

So I guess I'm starting a Blog!!

So I threw out the idea to a few people about starting a dating blog. One where I could share all of my terrible (but mostly funny) dating experiences. I mostly talked about it as a joke, but the more I joked about it the more awesome the idea sounded. Well, I had an experience this weekend that I just HAD to blog about. So I guess I’m starting a blog about how dumb guys are!! Haha, just kidding. But really, I’m not kidding. Dating is so lame and I’m sure there are a ton of guys out there that could also tell horror stories about girls they have dated, so I know it goes both ways, but these are going to be stories from my point of view…a girl. Who wonders all the time why she even bothers with dating when there are only LOSERS left!! All the good ones are taken my friends. Once you hit your 30’s you need to just become ok with the idea that you may be alone forever. Okay, I know some of you don’t know me but I tend to be a bit over-dramatic. So please don’t take me too serious. I know, I have plenty of time left, blah, blah, blah, but once you hear these stories I think you will begin to see how right I truly am about all of this.

Oh and as a side bar…I have dated a lot over the years and tell my friends about most of those dates. I always tend to give the guys I date nicknames that me and my friends use when we are talking about them. Especially when I go out with them more than once. I will be using those names in this blog instead of their real names. Happy hunting everyone.